A Breakup Letter to YAML

This is the fourth article in my infrastructure series. If you missed the previous episodes of my descent into madness, check out Why I Sacrificed a Goat to AWS Gods, From Rant to Reality: Why I Started Light Cloud, and The $4,847 Bill That Changed My Life.

Dear YAML,

We need to talk.

I know we've had some good times together. Remember when you replaced XML and everyone thought you were so clean and readable? Those were simpler days. Back when a deployment meant copying files to

/var/www/html

But somewhere along the way, our relationship became... complicated.

It Started So Innocently

Remember our first date? A simple Docker Compose file:

yaml
version: '3'
services:
  web:
    build: .
    ports:
      - "3000:3000"

So elegant! So readable! My heart fluttered. "Finally," I thought, "a configuration language that doesn't look like it was designed by someone who hates humanity."

I was so naive.

The Red Flags I Should Have Seen

Looking back, there were warning signs. Like that time you made me spend 3 hours debugging a deployment failure because I used tabs instead of spaces. Or when you insisted that

"no"

"false"

false

But I ignored the red flags because you promised me simplicity. You whispered sweet nothings about being "human-readable" and "easy to understand." You lying, indentation-obsessed monster.

When Things Got Serious (AKA Kubernetes)

Then Kubernetes entered our lives, and everything changed. Suddenly, you weren't just handling simple key-value pairs. You were orchestrating the fate of entire applications. And you... you became a different YAML. A darker YAML.

This is what you made me write to deploy a simple web app:

yaml
apiVersion: apps/v1
kind: Deployment
metadata:
  name: my-simple-app
  labels:
    app: my-simple-app
spec:
  replicas: 3
  selector:
    matchLabels:
      app: my-simple-app
  template:
    metadata:
      labels:
        app: my-simple-app
    spec:
      containers:
        - name: my-simple-app
          image: my-simple-app:latest
          ports:
            - containerPort: 3000
          env:
            - name: DATABASE_URL
              valueFrom:
                secretKeyRef:
                  name: db-secret
                  key: url
          resources:
            limits:
              cpu: 500m
              memory: 512Mi
            requests:
              cpu: 250m
              memory: 256Mi
---
apiVersion: v1
kind: Service
metadata:
  name: my-simple-app-service
spec:
  selector:
    app: my-simple-app
  ports:
    - protocol: TCP
      port: 80
      targetPort: 3000
  type: LoadBalancer
---
apiVersion: networking.k8s.io/v1
kind: Ingress
metadata:
  name: my-simple-app-ingress
  annotations:
    kubernetes.io/ingress.class: nginx
    cert-manager.io/cluster-issuer: letsencrypt-prod
spec:
  tls:
    - hosts:
        - myapp.example.com
      secretName: myapp-tls
  rules:
    - host: myapp.example.com
      http:
        paths:
          - path: /
            pathType: Prefix
            backend:
              service:
                name: my-simple-app-service
                port:
                  number: 80

YAML, this is 60 lines of configuration to deploy a Node.js app that serves "Hello World." SIXTY LINES. For comparison, the actual application code is 4 lines:

javascript
const express = require('express');
const app = express();
app.get('/', (req, res) => res.send('Hello World!'));
app.listen(3000);

I'm writing 15 times more configuration than actual code. This is not what you promised me, YAML.

The Great Helm Chart Incident of 2024

Things got worse when we started using Helm. Suddenly you weren't just YAML anymore. You were YAML with template variables. You became some kind of YAML-Go-template hybrid abomination:

yaml
{{- if .Values.ingress.enabled -}}
apiVersion: networking.k8s.io/v1
kind: Ingress
metadata:
  name: {{ include "mychart.fullname" . }}
  labels:
    {{- include "mychart.labels" . | nindent 4 }}
  {{- with .Values.ingress.annotations }}
  annotations:
    {{- toYaml . | nindent 4 }}
  {{- end }}
spec:
  {{- if and .Values.ingress.className (not (hasKey .Values.ingress.annotations "kubernetes.io/ingress.class")) }}
  ingressClassName: {{ .Values.ingress.className }}
  {{- end }}
  {{- if .Values.ingress.tls }}
  tls:
    {{- range .Values.ingress.tls }}
    - hosts:
        {{- range .hosts }}
        - {{ . | quote }}
        {{- end }}
      secretName: {{ .secretName }}
    {{- end }}
  {{- end }}
  rules:
    {{- range .Values.ingress.hosts }}
    - host: {{ .host | quote }}
      http:
        paths:
          {{- range .paths }}
          - path: {{ .path }}
            {{- if and .pathType (semverCompare ">=1.18-0" $.Capabilities.KubeVersion.GitVersion) }}
            pathType: {{ .pathType }}
            {{- end }}
            backend:
              {{- if semverCompare ">=1.19-0" $.Capabilities.KubeVersion.GitVersion }}
              service:
                name: {{ $fullName }}
                port:
                  number: {{ $svcPort }}
              {{- else }}
              serviceName: {{ $fullName }}
              servicePort: {{ $svcPort }}
              {{- end }}
          {{- end }}
    {{- end }}
  {{- end }}

YAML, what have you become? This isn't configuration anymore. This is a programming language pretending to be configuration. And not even a good programming language! It's like someone took the worst parts of templating engines and mashed them together with your indentation obsession.

The Debugging Nightmares

But the real betrayal? The debugging experience. When something goes wrong, you give me error messages like:

error converting YAML to JSON: yaml: line 47: found character that cannot start any token

Line 47? CHARACTER THAT CANNOT START ANY TOKEN? What does that even mean? Which character? What token were you expecting? Why can't you just tell me I have a typo like a normal language?

I've spent more time counting spaces in YAML files than I have optimizing actual application performance. Let that sink in.

The Values.yaml Inception

And don't get me started on

values.yaml

yaml
# values.yaml-breakup
replicaCount: 3

image:
  repository: my-app
  pullPolicy: IfNotPresent
  tag: "latest"

nameOverride: ""
fullnameOverride: ""

serviceAccount:
  create: true
  annotations: {}
  name: ""

podAnnotations: {}

podSecurityContext: {}

securityContext: {}

service:
  type: ClusterIP
  port: 80

ingress:
  enabled: false
  className: ""
  annotations: {}
  hosts:
    - host: chart-example.local
      paths:
        - path: /
          pathType: ImplementationSpecific
  tls: []

resources: {}

autoscaling:
  enabled: false
  minReplicas: 1
  maxReplicas: 100
  targetCPUUtilizationPercentage: 80

nodeSelector: {}

tolerations: []

affinity: {}

I need a PhD in YAML archaeology just to understand what half of these fields do. And if I want to enable HTTPS? I have to navigate through this maze of nested configurations like I'm defusing a bomb.

The Final Straw: ArgoCD

The relationship truly hit rock bottom when we started using ArgoCD for GitOps. Now I had to manage YAML files that manage other YAML files that deploy applications defined in more YAML files.

Here's what I needed to deploy a simple app with ArgoCD:

1. Application YAML (defines what to deploy)
2. Deployment YAML (defines how to deploy)
3. Service YAML (defines networking)
4. Ingress YAML (defines external access)
5. ConfigMap YAML (defines configuration)
6. Secret YAML (defines secrets)
7. values.yaml (defines Helm variables)
8. Chart.yaml (defines Helm metadata)

Eight different YAML files. For one application. That serves "Hello World."

My git repository looked like a YAML graveyard. Hundreds of nearly identical files, differing only in tiny details that somehow break everything if you get them wrong.

What We've Learned About Each Other

YAML, through our toxic relationship, I've learned some hard truths:

1. You're not actually human-readable when you reach any meaningful complexity
2. Your indentation sensitivity is a feature nobody asked for
3. You make simple things complex and complex things impossible
4. You've created an entire industry of tools just to manage you (kustomize, helm, jsonnet)
5. You're the reason developers are afraid of infrastructure

And I think I've finally figured out why our relationship never worked: You were never meant to be a programming language, but somehow you became one.

The Light Cloud Alternative: Visual Infrastructure Blocks

This is why we built Light Cloud's visual infrastructure blocks. Instead of wrestling with 60 lines of YAML, our users just drag and drop:

• App Block (connects to your git repo)
• Database Block (PostgreSQL, MySQL, or MongoDB)
• Cache Block (Redis with automatic clustering)
• Load Balancer Block (with automatic SSL)

Click, connect, deploy. No YAML in sight.

Our ICE (Integrated Cloud Environment) generates the infrastructure automatically. Want to see what's happening under the hood? Sure, we'll show you the generated Terraform and Kubernetes configs. But you never have to touch them.

One of our beta users deployed a production-ready e-commerce platform in 15 minutes. No YAML files were harmed in the making of this deployment.

It's Not Me, It's You

So YAML, this is goodbye. It's not me, it's definitely you.

You promised simplicity but delivered complexity. You promised readability but gave us hieroglyphics. You turned configuration into a full-time job.

But I want you to know, I don't hate you. You were a necessary step in our evolution. You taught us what we DON'T want in infrastructure tooling:

• Configuration shouldn't be harder than coding
• Deployment shouldn't require a specialty degree
• Infrastructure shouldn't be a full-time job

To My Fellow YAML Survivors

If you're reading this and nodding along, you're not alone. We've all been traumatized by indentation errors at 2 AM. We've all spent hours debugging why

enabled: "false"

enabled: false

But there's hope. The future of infrastructure is visual, intuitive, and YAML-free.

At Light Cloud, we're building that future. Come join us.

P.S. YAML, if you're reading this, please fix your error messages. "found character that cannot start any token" is not helpful feedback. Neither is "did not find expected key" when the key is literally right there.

P.P.S. To everyone who's about to comment "but YAML is simple once you understand it" - that's exactly the problem. I shouldn't need to "understand" a configuration format. It should just work.

Ready to break up with YAML too? Try Light Cloud's visual infrastructure blocks and deploy without the pain. Your future self will thank you.